


Bulletproof

by misura



Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: Christmas Presents, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:47:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21833296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: It's time to start opening Christmas presents chez casa Shazam.
Relationships: Billy Batson/Freddy Freeman
Comments: 6
Kudos: 72
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	Bulletproof

**Author's Note:**

  * For [girltalk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girltalk/gifts).



> happy Yuletide, girltalk! I hope this gift brings you as much joy as Darla's brought her! <3

"O.M.G.," Freddy said, tearing the wrapping paper off of the gift Billy had spent only about oh half an hour getting just right, because this was for Freddy, the first time he'd ever given _anyone_ a Christmas gift, ever, and so Billy'd decided that it had to be perfect. "OMG, OMG."

Not that he cared all that much about Freddy's feelings or something. Not like he had a _crush_ or something, regardless of what Certain People seemed to be thinking.

"It's flat! It's completely flat! It's not a bird! It's not a plane!" Freddy tore through some more paper.

In hindsight, Billy figured maybe he'd gone a bit overboard.

"You expected Santa to bring you a plane? That's silly," Darla said. "And Santa would never put wrapping paper all around a bird. That'd be mean."

"Right you are, Darla," Victor said, exchanging a look with Rosa. "Santa loves animals."

Billy wondered if they'd somehow figured out that his package for Darla contained a giant plush unicorn. It was sparkly and pink and Billy'd seen it in the store and thought that it was terrible, so of course then he'd had to buy it.

"Sorry, my bad, it's not completely flat. Sorry, sorry." Freddy raised his hands.

Billy tried to look like all of his attention was on Freddy right now, like Freddy was the most important person in this room, like everyone else had gone invisible all of a sudden - except that Freddy'd said that invisibility was for pervs and people who deep down didn't believe that they really were heroes, and that didn't apply to any of them, so.

Plus, Freddy wasn't. He just wasn't. The most important person in Billy's life right now.

From Freddy's expression, he thought that he should be, though. There was a bit of an eye-roll and then a scowl and then a faint expression of hurt and Billy thought, 'damn it' because that wasn't fair, was it, for Freddy to look like Billy'd hurt his feelings even when he hadn't done anything, but then Freddy turned to Darla who beamed at him, all heart-eyes and unconditional love and Billy thought, 'damn it' again because that was just Darla being Darla, so it didn't mean anything.

It didn't mean Freddy was suddenly going to decide he liked Darla better than Billy. Which would have been fine with Billy, obviously.

Victor cleared his throat after Rosa poked him. "So uh, we're all sitting on tenterhooks here, bud. What'd you get? Come on, show us."

"It's a - oh, man. Only the coolest Christmas gift, like, _ever_ ," Freddy said, and Billy felt a warm glow of satisfaction, probably because he'd had some hot chocolate recently and there'd been marshmallows in it. He tried not to smile or look like he wanted to.

Freddy held up his 'not entirely flat' Christmas present. "One original, guaranteed authentic bullet fired at none other than Superman. There's a certificate and everything. Pretty cool, eh?"

Asking Clark to get him one had to be, like, in the top-ten of most embarrassing things Billy'd ever done ever, but Clark had been really nice about it, not like Freddy when Billy asked him for things (which he tried not to) and Billy'd known, he'd just known that it would make Freddy's day to get one and anyway, he'd sort of owed Freddy for losing that other bullet Freddy'd had so.

"Well, as long as it's a _used_ bullet," Victor said.

Freddy mock-laughed and looked at Billy, who shrugged by way of saying, 'adults, what can you do?'.

"I thought you already had one of those," Darla said. "You know, off of eBay. You made me promise not to tell, because it was super expensive and you didn't want people to think you were wasting your money."

Freddy mock-laughed some more, and this time, Billy shrugged a 'well, you wanted attention' at him, which got him a dirty look.

"Let's not talk about how much things cost. I'm sure Santa considered his budget very carefully," Rosa said, all good holiday cheer. "Eugene, why don't you go next?"

Eugene was getting what looked like a cheap, second-hand iphone but what was actually Wayne Enterprises's latest. Or possibly Batman's; Billy wasn't always clear on what stuff went with which identity. As far as adults went, Bruce was kind of weird.

Freddy claimed it was because Bruce was Batman. And rich. Rich people were always weird, and often either secretly superheroes or supervillains, on account of being able to afford, like, a regular lair, a normal home, a lair for parties and a vacation home on their very own tropical island.

Billy'd told him that sounded dumb, because he couldn't exactly picture Dr Sivana on a beach somewhere, just chilling and sipping a funny-colored drink with an umbrella in it, and then Freddy'd told him that yeah, no, actually Billy was the one sounding dumb and just because he didn't have any imagination, that didn't mean Billy was right or all-knowing or an expert or anything.

"Hey, hey," Freddy said. "What's the rush? Huh?"

Victor raised his hands and went to the kitchen for more gingerbread cookies and hot chocolate.

"This. This means something to me." Freddy held up the little plastic bag with the partially flattened bullet. The _used_ bullet, as Victory had called it, and Billy decided that this once, Victor'd been right. Nothing special about a bullet just because it hadn't ended up killing Superman.

A bullet that had, in fact, killed Superman or, like, only hurt him a little - now _that_ would have been something special. Though Billy supposed it'd be a bit strange and morbid to want to hold on to something like that, because yeah, no.

"Um," he said, once it was clear nobody else was going to say anything, including Freddy. Of course, once he'd spoken up, everyone looked at _him_ instead of at Freddy, as they should have, so he added, "So what does it mean to you, exactly?" less because he wanted to know and more because it seemed the best way to make Freddy get on with things already.

"This - this - " Freddy got up, little plastic bag held up over his head as he studied it in the light. "This!"

Darla giggled. Rosa was wearing her fond smile. Eugene - well, Billy couldn't blame him for trying to get in a quick game.

"Nah, just foolin'." Freddy sat down, throwing his gift, Billy's gift down on the table next to the empty cookie platter. He sniffed. "Already got, like, dozens of these. Hundreds. Guess Santa went cheap this year."

"Hey now, none of that," Victor said, returning bearing fresh cookies. Darla jumped up and hugged him. Billy noted she didn't even snag a cookie; the hug was all she was interested in. "Poor old Santa did his best."

"Oh, sure, _Santa_ did," Freddy said, flopping back on the couch.

Rosa shot him a sharp look.

"I think Santa maybe thought you really cared a lot about this sort of stuff," Billy said. "You know, because you're forever going on and on about it, with Superman this and Batman that and Aquaman and Flash and so on."

"The," Freddy said. "And I guess maybe Santa doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does, but really, my money'd be on pure cheapness. Laziness, if you wish. 'Oh, Freddy - well, no need to put in any effort, is there? I'm sure Freddy'd be happy with just about anything.' Something like that."

"Freddy!" Victor said.

"You think Santa got you a bad gift?" Darla asked.

"No. Of course not," Freddy said, licking his lips once and then glaring at Billy. "Because, you see Darla, Santa - "

" _Freddy_ ," Rosa said.

Freddy shut his mouth and scowled.

"I'm sure Santa tried really hard to find you something you liked," Darla said. "Only maybe you didn't tell him clearly enough. After all, Santa's not a mind-reader."

"Good point," Victor said. "I mean Darla here, she wrote Santa a letter, didn't you, Darla?"

Billy had seen the letter. It had involved a lot of glitter and individualised messages as well as kisses and hugs for each of Santa's reindeer and all the elves Darla'd been able to remember seeing at the mall.

Darla nodded solemnly. "I told him all about me and also how Freddy was a really good brother and - " She gasped. "Oh no! Do you think it's my fault? I'm so sorry, Freddy."

Billy looked a 'nice going, jerk' at Freddy, who looked a 'this is all your fault, dick' back which Billy told himself to shrug off because it obviously wasn't true.

"Totally not your fault, I'm sure," Freddy said.

"But - but - " Darla's voice sounded wobbly.

Billy wanted to grab the package containing the big sparkly unicorn and shove it into her arms.

"Nah. Know what, you're right. No mind-reading powers. Just a big dummy," Freddy said.

"That's a nice way of talking about a guy who traveled all over to get you a present," Victor said, but he'd relaxed a bit and Billy felt himself relax, too - not that he'd been tense to begin with or anything.

"I think it was my turn next?" Eugene asked. He'd already picked out his package - not the slim one Billy'd gotten him but the bulkier one Billy suspected contained a warm sweater.

(It didn't. It contained a video game, and Eugene glowed with happiness for a bit before he let Pedro go next, the whole thing taking less than five minutes, and Billy looked a 'see? this is how you should have reacted' at Freddy, who looked back a 'well, your gift _sucked_ ', which was nice and made Billy wish he hadn't bothered, except not really, because he'd tried, and Freddy was just being Freddy about it, given that it was a great gift.)

"How'd you get dozens of these things anyway?" Billy asked, when it was just the two of them in their bunk beds, tossing the plastic bag with the bullet up to the ceiling and catching it again. "I thought you said they cost, like, five, six hundred bucks."

Freddy'd gotten him a box of old comics. 'Classics', he'd claimed. Billy figured he'd have to read at least a couple, to show willing even if he didn't think he wanted to spend his spare time reading.

"I asked. Duh," Freddy said.

"Oh," Billy said. He supposed that made sense. He almost should have seen it coming, in fact, though now he felt sort of annoyed Clark hadn't told him. Sure, Billy hadn't mentioned he'd wanted his own bullet as a gift for Freddy but, well, what else did Clark think he'd wanted it for?

"Man, I don't know. I mean, I used to be batty for the Batman, but now - " Freddy sighed.

"You think Supes is super?" Billy suggested.

"He's really nice," Freddy said. "Not stuck up or arrogant or anything. Didn't even ask me for any money. A real superhero, you know."

 _We're real superheroes, too,_ Billy wanted to say, but he kind of felt like he got what Freddy was getting at. "Sorry," he said.

"What for?" Freddy asked. He sounded surprised. "We're kids, Billy. Nobody expects us to be like Superman. I mean, part of the reason why people like our videos so much is because you're a bit of a goof sometimes. You know, kind of an idiot."

"Thanks," Billy said, deciding to let that 'our' go.

"But you're still my brother from another mother and father, and I love you," Freddy said. "If I were a hugger, I'd hug you, like, all the time, but I'm not. So."

"So," Billy echoed.

"Yeah. So I figure that if you were, like, a person who told people he loved them, you'd have told me you loved me too, just now. And, like, a lot of other times. All the time. Kids'd see us at school and they'd be all, like, gross, two guys in love, but you know what, screw them. They're homophobes. Love is a beautiful thing."

"I meant, sorry about the gift," Billy said. "I didn't know you already got a drawer full of them."

"You would if you respected personal boundaries a little less," Freddy said. "But fine. Apology accepted. You can make it up to me next year. Or maybe we could, like, make out at school some time."

"Don't push it, Freeman."

"Right," Freddy said. "Baby steps. But seriously, I've got Wonderwoman's phone number. Last resort, sure, but, you know. I'm just saying."

Billy had no idea what that meant, but it was late and it was Christmas and he supposed that he did like Freddy rather a lot, most of time or some of the time or whatever. "Good night, Freddy."

"Night," Freddy said, ten seconds before he started snoring and made Billy reconsider his affections.


End file.
